Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Weight Gain: The Back Story

Back Story
a little over four years ago, I began a weight loss journey.
In eight months I lost 105 pounds!
Then, I stayed with in ten pounds of the weight for almost two years.
Then, I began strength training and I lost 37 pounds, in about eight months.
I was sooo excited! I felt so comfortable in my body.
My yoga practice climbed to whole new level, 
the postures available to me rocked my world. 
I was holding handstand!
I felt on top of the world!

Then... I met a boy.
Not just any boy, THE boy.
And, he enjoyed taking me to dinner.
And, I enjoyed him spoiling me.
So, although I beat myself up for not eating as good as I should, I began to slide.
At first it was a slow slide.
You see, I still worked out all of the time.
In the first few months, I gained seven pounds.

Then, he proposed!
And, I was sooo happy!
But, the more pressure I put on myself to lose those seven pounds,
The more I seemed to gain.
And, by the time we wed five months later, I had gained 17 more pounds.
I felt so ashamed. 

THEN, we moved. 
And, I lost all of my habits and became depressed.
Although I love being married, I experienced a lot of anxiety the first few
months of marriage. I began to binge eat on Oreos.
I mass gained. 
Two months later I had more than doubled my weight gain 34lbs.
Now, seven months later I have  tripled my weight gain, almost 100lbs.

I feel horrified.
I do not feel comfortable in my body.
i don't want people to look at me.
I am grumpy all of the time.

This is my to now story. And, the back story.
I would love support, and I am going to try to document my process.
I have a lot of big fitness goals I plan to achieve.
You see, I LOVE to run, dance, hike, box and practice Yoga!

1 comment:

  1. I love you dearly big or small. I know how hard it can be when you don't feel comfortable in your own skin, I have gained a bit of weight myself, and I know you wrote this a while ago, but I am just now catching up. I have never known you to fail at anything that you put your mind to and I know that if you set your mind to this you will succeed like no other. You are an amazing woman and I love you :-)