200 Hour Yoga Teacher Training: Day Three in sectionsToday felt amazing. During Primary series on Monday not a lot of postures were very open to me. This is knew to me in my practice. In the past most all postures have been wide open! So, I felt very insecure about how I moved, and how I looked when I moved. Especially since it embarrasses me that I gained so much weight. Gaining weight is usually seen as something so controllable by outsiders, but from the inside it is a whirlwind. But, the whirlwind definitely left my thoughts today as we began breaking down Suryanamaskara A, or the first sun salutation for Primary series.My body reacted so nicely. I felt light, I felt free... and with the extra weight on my body, free is not often felt. But, I did not need to modify. Which really makes me question my experience on Monday. I thought my body was holding me back, but maybe it is partly my mind?
Suryanamaskara A sets the practice up, and learning to teach it first has definitely brought comfort and quietness to my mind... just as doing it first in the Primary series brings rhythm, clarity and unity to the practice.
The CircleWe have a circle. Day three and the breakdown of postures means everyone gets to experience being in the middle of the circle. When you go to the middle of the circle everyone watches you do the posture. This allows everyone to learn in so many ways... but I have such fear of the circle. Thankfully the circle countdown did not reach me, but I am petrified. I did not let myself dwell on it to much during class, but on the way home I told my husband all about my fears and how much I do not want to be in the circle and his response was so simple, "as a teacher you are always in the middle of the circle... you really want to be there in a way."
The Only OneWhen you are active and love fitness but are overweight... I often find myself the only one... and it is so easy to wall up... being the only one... but the reality is everyone has some insecurities that make them feel like they may be singled out. And the truth is not following our passions or limiting what we do because of our bodies or more importantly how we fear our bodies may be viewed is not living... it is not life at all. And it feels good to let that go... to let go "inwardly of outward influence," and just be.
Teaching YogaTeaching yoga definitely requires a new way of thinking... sharing is hard! Haha, especially when you are sharing something that needs to be so personalized... it is hard to be open and direct without the risk of either being too vague or too constricting. It is also hard to express in words feelings... and to me Yoga is mostly feeling... I love to do what feels good and lose my thoughts...
My husband has been my student for the past three days, and I love it! Tonight I took him through Suryanamaskara A and it was so hard! Haha. He did beautifully, especially since I do not know how to modify some of the postures for him. But, it was fun.